What is Keeping it Real?

It's more than a worn-out cliche'!

It's a statement of responsibility. Responsibility for one's thoughts, for one's feelings...for one's life.

Think about the last time someone told you to "keep it real" what were they telling you? Were they telling you to "come clean" about your true motivations? Or maybe they were telling you to be "authentic" to be "true." How often are we NOT real with ourselves..with others? Not being real or authentic means that we are "fake" we are not living as our true selves. It means that our EGO has taken over. Letting your ego take over is kinda like dressing up for Halloween but never taking your costume off. After a while you forget that you have a COSTUME on. You begin to believe that the costume is you!

But why would someone choose not to be Authentic? There are many reasons people chose to live inauthentic lives... they may feel as if they have to be something other than what they are to maintain their relationships, careers, community status or some may feel as if their true self is not "good enough" due to traumatic brainwashing.There are a multitude of reasons why people choose to hide themselves.

However, when people are inauthentic they don't have to take responsibility for their actions...it's always someones or something elses fault. Being inauthentic can lead to psychological and emotional problems and rarely leads to true peace and happiness. Taking responsibility for every aspect of one's life is the FIRST step to true wellness and health. I'm sure that you have heard this before...but have you REALLY TRIED IT?

Simple Exercise #1

A.The next time something bad happens ask yourself what role did you play?

• The victim (the one who was wronged)?
• The aggressor (the one who wronged)?
• The agitator (the one who started it)?
• The prolonger (the one who wouldn't let it die)?

There are many other roles but really try to understand WHAT ROLE did you play. If you are honest with yourself you will find that somewhere along the line either in the immediate past or further back you contributed in some way to the current situation. Whether you knew deep in your heart you couldn't trust your girlfriend with your spouse way before they had the affair or that it was time to leave that "soul killing" job a long time before you actually got fired. You had a responsibility to see the situation for what it was and act accordingly. When you don't KEEP IT REAL you rob yourself of the ability to act in a positive manner.

B. Take FULL responsibility for the role you played.

That means acknowledging honestly what you did and what you did not do that contributed to the current situation. Initially, you'll probably feel resistant even angry especially if you view yourself as the victim. But flow with it and you WILL SEE that taking responsibility will make you feel empowered because you will understand that only YOU have control over YOU. You don't have to subject yourself to negative situations or people. In time you will be able to recognize them and avoid them.

C. FORGIVE yourself for the role you played.

What ever your role FORGIVE yourself. We are all learning and growing. No one is expecting PERFECTION....especially since none can be perfect but GOD.

This is a process...a journey and you will not always succeed on the first try. It's OK!!! Try it again. What do you have to lose?